Every time I thought I had finally found a home, I would see that stage end and a new one would begin. Some families were good while others were bad. I guess, over the years, I learned to develop a shield to protect me from the hurt that would eventually come.I have always been self-conscious about my body. I look at the models on the covers of magazines and I cringe. I know there are so many places where I fail to live up to the expectations of the world. I try my best to look good for Matt, but there is only so much that a girl can do.Matt never seems to notice. When I catch him looking at me, I can see that he is very pleased. He often verbalizes and lets me know that he likes what he sees. Do you have any idea what that does for a girls esteem? I feel pretty and I want to be even prettier for him.When I married my first husband, I was young and in love. He looked so handsome in his uniform and I found the lifestyle to be so exciting. While he was stationed in Virginia, he took. So, as soon as the ceremony had been complete, and the small, family, celebration that had gone along with it, I was ordered to find work.Since I didn't find work within a week of the order being given, my parents had set me up in a job with an older jeweler named Benjamin Epstein. Mr. Epstein to me. I may be a man, but he was still my elder and my boss. I was responsible for assisting him, and he was a kind man, so in addition to my assisting him, he taught me the business.Now, please keep in mind, this didn't mean my parents didn't care about me. They loved me dearly, and my father worked himself ragged trying to provide for us. My mother was a wonderful cook who kept a clean and bright house. She taught us all well, and raised us properly. Perhaps she would be called abusive now.But I don't think that when I experimented with arson when I was five years old, it was abusive of her to spank my ass so hard I couldn't sit for a few days. Sometimes a child needs to have it explained to.
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